A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
  Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
  David fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
  David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
  In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the sabbath day off.
  Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
  Jesus said that man doth not live by sweat alone.
  John the blacksmith, dumped water on His head.
  Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
  Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, and a ball of fire by night.
  Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
  Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
  Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the 10 amendments.
  Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
  Noah built an ark, which the animals came onto in pears.
  One of the possums was Matthew, who cavorted to Christianity.
  Paul preached acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
  Sampson slayed the Philistines with the acts of the Apostles.
  Sampson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
  Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
  The Egyptians all drowned in the dessert.
  The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
  The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
  The greatest miracle in the Bible was when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
  The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
  The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
  When Marry heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
  When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manger.